Behind the Mannequin
by MegaKat
Summary: Oneshot! (Maybe) A companion to AnaFrost's Under the Counter! Go read that first! After hearing Trunks's story about how he met Usagi, Goten tries his luck at the mall! Hilarity ensues! R&R please!


**A story in response to AnaFrost's Under the Counter! Go read that first! And the character of Nana TOTALLY belongs to Ana and the story Hothead Meets Blockhead (another great story of hers you should go read!), even though the wench based her off of what I would be like in my 60s. :D I really would be, too.**

Encouraged by Trunks's tale about getting lucky in love and acquiring a beautiful, kind, steady girlfriend last week by using such a smooth pickup method, Goten continued to hang around the mall, nonchalantly glancing around, looking for the perfect woman.

"Ok, I'm not that damned picky, but none of them seem right," he sighed to himself before stepping in line to grab a milkshake in the food court. "There's just no attraction, no animal magnetism," he added thoughtfully. The half-Saiyan with the goofy haircut flashed a little smile at the people in line who were staring at the crazy person talking to himself, and shrugged and grinned when one little old lady giggled at him and winked. _Yeah, she's been around long enough to get it. If only she were about fifty years younger._

"Looking for a summer love, you little stud?" The old lady asked with another giggle.

Turning as red as a sunset, Goten's hand flew to the back of his head and he grinned nervously. "Um… ma'am, no offense, I really don't mean any, but—"

"Oh, hush. A young thing like you wouldn't be able to keep up with a lady of my experience," she countered with a little leer as she looked him up and down. "Besides, I'm very much taken by that strapping lad over there," she said as she pointed to a table at a short, bald elderly gentleman in a Shinto priest's hakama and kimono.

"Oh. Erm… he's the luckiest man in the world," Goten replied smoothly, mentally wiping his brow at the knowledge that she wasn't coming on to him.

"I'll say," she purred. "Nana," she added suddenly, giving him a little bow, keeping it shallow so that her back wouldn't creak.

Goten automatically returned it, his bow much deeper in a show of respect, and he scooped up her hand as he came back up and planted a kiss on her knuckles. "Charmed, Nana," he said with a waggle of his eyebrows. "Watashi wa Son Goten."

"Ooo, very smooth! I'm sure with your looks and charm, you won't have a problem landing a pretty girl by the end of the day! In fact, why don't you try that department store over there?" She suggested, pointing a gnarled finger to his right. "They're having a jewelry sale and I saw dozens of lovely young ladies about your age inside."

Completely forgetting his milkshake, Goten beamed and nodded rapidly. "I hadn't looked there yet! Thank you, Nana!" He darted out of line then, but before he could forget his manners, he skirted around the super-long line to stop her before she reached her table and her husband. "Gomen, Nana!" He said quickly before giving her a deep bow and kissing her knuckles again with a waggle of his bushy black eyebrows. "Arigato! And if you'd been about fifty years younger, I would have totally tried to pick you up!"

"Boy, I would have broken you in half," she giggled before shooing him towards the store she'd pointed at.

Goten didn't hesitate and flashed the grinning priest at the table his most winning smile. "Your wife's awesome!" He yelled as he took off, weaving in and out of shoppers, slowing only once he got closer to the jewelry counter. There weren't as many girls as he suspected, but just as Nana said, they were all about his own age and they were gorgeous! But over half of them seemed to be with someone, including all of the prettiest one with long, black hair, just how he liked them.

Oh well, it couldn't hurt to enjoy the eye candy, at least. Resigning himself to doing just that, he caught sight of a familiar face and immediately dove behind a line of mannequins to hide. _Oh dear gods, the whole ex-girlfriend thing was supposed to be a lie! _He mentally wailed as he peeked around the last one in the line and spied Cherice on the arm of some tall, muscular hunk that Goten could probably snap in half with his own pinky. _Probably the guy she cheated on me with, _he thought sadly as he watched his ex exclaim over something pretty inside the jewelry case. _He'll learn the hard way. Once a cheater, always a—_

"HEY!"

Goten went rigid and his head snapped around to stare at a pair of shapely legs before drifting up to find them attached to a miniskirt, a beautifully shaped torso… and the most stunningly gorgeous face he'd ever seen in his life, complete with violet eyes and his favorite color and style of hair. Black and worn loose down the back. "Huh?" He asked stupidly.

"Are you a thief hiding from security, or are you gawking like some pervert at the girls at the counter!" The woman snapped at him loudly.

Her volume was what made Goten grab her hand and tug her down and out of sight, and he covered her mouth and shook his head vigorously, holding a finger to his own lips. "No, nothing like that!" He hissed. "Be quiet, please! I came in and saw my ex-girlfriend with the guy she cheated on me with," he babbled out rapidly in hopes that she'd quiet down. "Please, please, please be quiet, I couldn't bear it if I had to go through with saying hello to her while she's on some other guy's arm."

The beautiful young woman fell silent at that and Goten removed his hand, his cheeks heating up at the way her violet eyes softened in understanding. "I'm sorry, my friends keep telling me that I always jump to the wrong conclusions," she whispered kindly. "Hino Rei," she offered, bowing her head slightly.

"Son Goten," he replied, returning the nod. "And it's alright, I was just terrified that she might be drawn over by the sound. Cherice is honestly the last person on earth I ever want to see again," he sighed.

"Still in love with her?" Rei asked sympathetically, looking him over as he peered around the mannequin. Wow, this Cherice chick was out of her mind to have cheated on a man with such a great body! Normally after hearing his story, Rei would have wondered if he was a jerk and that's why the girl had ditched him, but the kindness and sadness she'd seen in his eyes spoke much differently. _And that utterly squeezable butt doesn't hurt, either, _she admitted with a blush. _Gods, __**dat ass**__._

"No," Goten replied as he turned back around, mentally grinning when he caught her checking out his backside. "I caught her cheating on me just before Christmas, but it was dark, so I'm not sure if that's the guy or not. I was in love with her then, but…" He shrugged. "My mom told me to beware of the city girls. Guess I should have listened."

"Not to pry," Rei said softly, "and I don't condone cheating in the slightest, but did she give you a reason?"

Goten blushed brightly at that and twiddled his thumbs, staring at them for a long time before he answered. And his answer was so soft that Rei didn't hear it.

"Huh?"

Clearing his throat, Goten still looked up at her, bright red in the face. "It sounds stupid coming from a guy."

"Try me," she replied, giving him an encouraging smile. "Oh, come on," she added when he looked away. "Were you trying on her heels or something?"

That made Goten laugh and he chuckled and warmed at the way she was looking at him gently. "Well, she kept pressuring me, you know? And I wanted to just let things happen naturally. I didn't want to _force_ it… you know?" He asked for a second time.

Oh gods, that had to be the sweetest damned thing she'd ever heard in _her life_. "I think I'm going to go over there and punch her in the face," Rei found herself muttering before she could stop herself.

"No!" Goten said quickly, then cringed at the volume of his voice. "No," he said again, but much softer.

"You sure? I'm a black belt in several different forms of martial arts. I wouldn't mind messing up her pretty little face for you," Rei offered with a feral little grin. "It might make her think twice before she ever cheats again."

That was when Goten remembered his original reason for even coming into the mall and a light bulb went off above his head. "If… if you wanted to do me a favor…? It would definitely be even better than punching her in the face."

"Sure," Rei said quickly, fairly sure that whatever he was about to suggest wouldn't be horrible or embarrassing.

"Would you… um… I don't know? Pretend to be my girlfriend and we can go over to the jewelry case? I—if you don't that's ok," he stammered out quickly. "I just thought that if I had such a beautiful woman on my arm…"

Stunned and downright flattered at first by the suggestion and his genuine compliment, Rei found herself smiling slowly and nodding. Heck, why not!? The guy was downright hot; she'd be glad to pretend to be his girlfriend just to shove it in some little homewrecker's face!

"Really!?" When she nodded again, Goten promptly stood and pulled her to her feet, keeping her small hand clasped in his when she moved to go around the mannequins. "Hang on, wait… if you're my girlfriend, shouldn't I hold your hand?" He whispered.

"I'll do you one better," Rei giggled as she stood against him and wrapped an arm around his waist, blushing when he beamed and did the same, his warm hand resting lightly on her hip. _Oh no, I'm as bad as Minako! _She realized when she felt tempted to slide her hand down and back to find out if his butt was as firm as it looked. But she resisted and let Goten do the leading, taking her to the jewelry counter with a big smile on his face.

Goten gave her a little squeeze then and melted a bit at the way she gave him a loving, I'm-totally-your-girlfriend-look, her violet eyes sparkling and her grip on him tightening slightly. "See anything you like?" He asked.

Rei giggled and looked back down into the case, wondering if he was serious about buying her something. _Nah, he's just playing the part of an attentive, generous boyfriend. _But she studied some items in the case anyway and spied a necklace that she liked, pleased that it wasn't out of her price range. In fact, with the sale going on, it was totally affordable on her budget! _I'll come back later and buy it when it won't look strange to be paying for something while I'm supposedly with my boyfriend. _

"Oh, honey, don't bother looking at anything in this store if you're on the arm of Son Goten," a soft, simpering woman's voice advised from beside her. "He's practically a pauper! He could barely even afford to take me to dinner and a movie once a month!"

Seeing red, Rei felt steam coming out of her ears as she slowly turned her head to find a lovely woman attached to some pumped-up steroid abuser's arm, her little sneer directed at Goten telling her that this was clearly Cherice. "Really?" Rei asked smoothly. "Because Goten and I go out to eat all the time."

"Fast food," Goten's ex chuckled meanly as she looked Rei up and down, sizing her up, a hint of jealousy in her eyes.

"I love fast food," Rei said nonchalantly, not even bothering to look Cherice up and down. She wasn't worth her time, period, and she wondered what Goten had seen in her to think the little bitch was worth his. "Besides, it's not what you eat, it's who you're eating with."

Cherice audibly snorted at that, making her seem even less attractive, and while Rei would have normally associated the sound with Usagi, she simply wouldn't compare her best friend to such a venomous heifer. "In my experience, Goten does far too much eating of food and _nothing else_," she said with utterly false sweetness.

Goten just turned his head and stared at his ex, having successfully avoided doing so thus far, but at that comment he couldn't stop himself and he felt his face heating up, hoping that Rei wouldn't pick up on the horrible innuendo.

Unfortunately for Cherice, Rei did.

"Really?" Rei asked softly, making sure her voice wouldn't carry. "Oh, wait… Goten, is this the little hussy you told me about?" Without waiting for confirmation, Rei continued with a triumphant little smirk on her lips. "Well, Cherice, let me tell you, the wait was worth it. Goten _loves _pie. In fact, he loves it so much that he eats it for hours on end until I'm sweaty and exhausted and simply can't give him any more. I tell you, my oven's hot and just baking away from dusk until midnight whenever Goten stays over."

Goten was turning an even brighter shade of crimson at that, half-hoping that Rei was finished with her awesome use of food metaphors and half-hoping that she'd continue just to increase the thoroughly pissed-off look on Cherice's face. Luckily for half of him, she wasn't finished.

"Did you know that Goten cooks too?" Rei added with a bright smile. "He serves me the biggest sausages you've _**never **_seen whenever he's done filling up on pie." She fanned herself at that and shot Goten a look that had more than just his face heating up. "In fact… I could use some sausage right this minute," she added softly. "I'm awfully hungry."

Somehow, his brain managed to work and he was amazed at his own perfect reply, a little grin playing on his lips. "I don't think we have enough time, Rei. We have to be at my mom's in four hours."

"Four hours?" Cherice was heard whispering.

"Like I said, dusk until midnight. Sometimes longer," Rei replied with a little shrug as she pointed at the necklace she'd been eyeing. Just to show the little tart how much of a whorey bitch she was, Rei was going to let Goten buy it for her, but she'd definitely pay him back for it once Cherice and her little manwhore were out of sight. Turning her face in such a way that only Goten could see her lips, Rei mouthed, 'pay you back. Promise,' before speaking aloud. "I really like that one, honey," she said softly.

Goten looked at it and inwardly sagged with relief that it was well within his price range, also immensely glad that the female pissing contest was over. Though it had been delightful seeing Cherice's face contort into something so ugly that he was wondering what he'd ever seen in her. "Anything for you, sweetheart," he replied nonchalantly, eyes briefly widening when he felt Rei's hand slide south and give his ass one long caress and a little squeeze.

What was that about!? Seeing her little blush and grin, Goten decided that two could play at that game and he tugged her close, moving in before he could lose his nerve, and he slanted his lips over hers, gasping with pleasure at how downright good she tasted. If her pie tasted half as good as her mouth, Goten would happily eat it all night just as she'd claimed he already did!

Moaning softly into the unexpected kiss, Rei told herself she was only playing it up when she felt his tongue briefly flick over her lips, and she parted them shyly, her face turning as red as his when she felt his tongue briefly caress hers and her eyes slipped shut in pure bliss.

Wow… so this was a kiss was like! Sure, she'd been kissed before, but those all seemed like slobbery, fumbling attempts by children compared to this! **This** was a _**kiss**_!

Goten wasn't sure how long he'd been kissing her when he finally pulled away, but judging by the fact that Cherice and her boytoy were long gone, he'd been locking lips with the violet-eyed beauty for several minutes! "Wow," he sighed, blushing at the way her hand was back on his ass and his own was bunched in her long hair.

"Um… sorry!" Rei said quickly, immediately removing her hand from his firm butt cheek.

"Heh… s'ok," Goten assured her. "Sorry I put my tongue in your mouth. Um… heat of the moment, you know?"

"No, that's alright," Rei replied with a little, nervous smile. "You're, um… a really good kisser. I mean that," she added rapidly. "And you've got a really nice butt." Bright red and disbelieving that that had just flown out of her mouth, she quickly looked away.

Goten was laughing softly though, wrapping his arm around her once more, pressing his lips to her cheek. "You're a good kisser, too," he breathed in her ear. "And thanks, the look on her face was worth all the ass-grabbing in the world. Even if I did kind of like it," he added shyly.

When Rei looked back up at him with a wry little smile on her face, Goten remembered her words with Cherice and wondered if… "So, you wanted, um… sausage?"

Her eyes wide and her blush spreading below the hemline of her blouse, Rei rapidly shook her head. "No, um! I talked a really big game!" She admitted in embarrassment. "I actually… um… I'm inexperienced, too," she confessed. "But she was such a bitch that I wanted to make her really, really jealous and make her wish she'd never hurt you! I hate it when women treat good guys like you so poorly!"

Aw, she was protective of him? That was so sweet! Goten chuckled and shrugged before taking a chance to dip his face and peck her on the lips. "I think it worked. I've never seen her mad before… and I have to say I don't believe you for a second about being inexperienced… at least in kissing. I was seeing stars!"

Blushing at the compliment, Rei shook her head. "No, not really… but you were amazing, too," she admitted. Seeing the time on a watch in the case, Rei looked to the door and was glad that her grandpa and his fiancée weren't coming to check on her. Neither of them would have ever let her live down holding hands and kissing a strange boy they'd never met before! "Goten, I really hate to run, but I promised my grandpa I'd meet him in the food court at noon." Seeing the disappointed look in his eyes as he nodded, Rei felt awful at the thought of just leaving him like that and took his hand in hers. "Tell you what… why don't you join us? Just please don't take anything Grandpa or Nana say to heart! They're both quite the scandalous lechers!"

Nana…? Goten inwardly groaned at that but nodded, but when she tried to tug him towards the food court, he stopped her. "Hang on. Miss!" He called out to a woman on the far end of the massive counter. "I'd like to buy this piece right here, if it's not too much trouble!"

Rei gaped at such generosity, but when she tried to protest, Goten silenced her with another bold kiss. "Goten!" She finally managed when he drew away.

"Rei, I'm not poor like Cherice would try to make me out. Believe it or not, I have a job with Capsule Corp and I do pretty well for myself. The only reason I only took her out once a month and rarely bought her anything was because the stuff she wanted was so expensive I'd have to save up for months! And the restruarants she preferred were astronomical!" He added with a little groan. "Sorry," he said quickly when Rei seemed to be getting angry again. "Bad form to talk about an ex when you're with a new girlfriend."

That stopped Rei cold and she looked up at him owlishly. "G—Girlfriend?"

The hand not holding hers flew to the back of his head then and he grinned nervously. "Well, yeah! I mean… you grabbed my butt and all! You've gotta at least go out on a couple dates with me so I can keep my honor intact!"

Unable to help herself, Rei laughed at that and nodded into his chest when he had to hold her up and keep her from falling over. "Fine!" She giggled. "I'll go out on a few dates with you!"

"That one," Goten mouthed to the clerk that had finally come over, pointing with a single digit at the silver necklace. The lady worked fast, and while Goten distracted Rei with a gentle kiss, savoring her taste once more, he handed over his credit card and it was all paid for and done by the time he released her. "Thanks!" He said quickly, taking the bag.

"Thanks…?" Rei asked, dazed from the kiss and the way he'd held her.

"Yup," he chuckled, presenting her with the bag. "Had to distract you somehow to keep you from refusing to let me pay for it. Now come on, let's go meet your grandpa before he gets worried!"

**And that's how they met. :D I'm tempted to do a series of these, showing how their relationship progresses! I'll think about it though, I got a lot on my plate right now! R&R!**


End file.
